Bumping Up Against Spring

I’m bumping up against spring in a way I don’t recall having done so before. My feet feel like bulbs planted in the soil of winter yet they aren’t quite ready to reach for the bloom of sky. I’ve really needed this past winter, it feels, to just turn inward a little bit more, to soak up wave after wave of the powerful Northern California rains, to let the intensity of the pacific storms soak and wash through me. It’s hard to describe fully, but I’ve loved the rains this year, and having missed them the past two years in favor of winter travel and adventure, it seems my system needed them that much more.And so here comes spring. Two of my nephews recently came to visit me for their spring break which was no less than wonderful, and after driving them back to the airport on April 2nd, I realized the calendar had passed March and that I wasn’t quite ready for April yet. Then I sang at Glide for my friend Burl’s memorial service on April 3rd and that started to bring me forward a little.Nothing like belting out some gospel, being reminded of the preciousness of love in this life, and singing about how blessed I am to bring me forward some and give me a little kick in the pants.I don’t think I’ve ever felt the seasons out here so strongly as I do this year. Spring now is offering up longer days, lots of sunlight, the birth of the baby seals, daffodils pushing up; all of these signaling expansion and that it is time for me to molt my winter shell to join in the bloom. There is surprising comfort in winter. I need to rest and turn inward at times, perhaps just to allow for some rewiring of understanding from the preceding year of expansion. I feel the seasons moving through me, or better yet, that I am moving more naturally with the seasons.

I wasn’t quite ready for spring yet. I’m almost there. Just not quite. As I write that, I can feel the edge of expansion in my body, like the bulb ready to push forth toward the sky. Just not quite yet.

4 replies on “Bumping Up Against Spring”

Nice images (not just the pics). I am always amazed this time of year when I try to sprout various seeds for my garden. Watching them wake up and push their way up from the soil always stirs my soul. And they really take their time you know. They take their time to make it up through the soil, and then they take their time to put out a stem and a couple leafs to be greened up by the sun, day by day they just keep on becoming something lovely … all from a tiny seed, a bunch of dirt and some water and sun. Very delicious process to behold … to appreciate within and without.

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering 5
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.

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