I’m bumping up against spring in a way I don’t recall having done so before. My feet feel like bulbs planted in the soil of winter yet they aren’t quite ready to reach for the bloom of sky. I’ve really needed this past winter, it feels, to just turn inward a little bit more, to soak up wave after wave of the powerful Northern California rains, to let the intensity of the pacific storms soak and wash through me. It’s hard to describe fully, but I’ve loved the rains this year, and having missed them the past two years in favor of winter travel and adventure, it seems my system needed them that much more.And so here comes spring. Two of my nephews recently came to visit me for their spring break which was no less than wonderful, and after driving them back to the airport on April 2nd, I realized the calendar had passed March and that I wasn’t quite ready for April yet. Then I sang at Glide for my friend Burl’s memorial service on April 3rd and that started to bring me forward a little.Nothing like belting out some gospel, being reminded of the preciousness of love in this life, and singing about how blessed I am to bring me forward some and give me a little kick in the pants.I don’t think I’ve ever felt the seasons out here so strongly as I do this year. Spring now is offering up longer days, lots of sunlight, the birth of the baby seals, daffodils pushing up; all of these signaling expansion and that it is time for me to molt my winter shell to join in the bloom. There is surprising comfort in winter. I need to rest and turn inward at times, perhaps just to allow for some rewiring of understanding from the preceding year of expansion. I feel the seasons moving through me, or better yet, that I am moving more naturally with the seasons.
I wasn’t quite ready for spring yet. I’m almost there. Just not quite. As I write that, I can feel the edge of expansion in my body, like the bulb ready to push forth toward the sky. Just not quite yet.