Still in L’viv and heavy flakes are falling down on this New Year’s Eve day. Walked past a homeless woman with a large wooly dog and a large gathering of bags and wondered why I didn’t give her a generous gift. Would $10 really matter to me? Would it to her? Next to her was a gathering of about a dozen pigeons in the snow, feathers fluffed, beaks tucked within. The two juxtaposed was sad and beautiful at the same time.
I am towards the end of my time here together with Lidia and it pushes me up against my relationship issues. The present is always wonderful, and is especially so in this case, but moving toward toward any form of future can bring up many issues for me. Been trying for the past month or so to write about myself within the context of relationship and somehow bring that to light, and the desire to keep that private has been very strong. I think in a way, I also want to keep it private from myself. Luckily, I am here with a woman who is very open to speaking and hearing the truth, whatever that may be, and doesn’t take much personally. It isn’t a heavy time here really at all. In fact, quite the opposite, it’s very light and liberating, despite the wintry chill, people walking the streets with shoulders hunched up towards their ears, girls hand in hand wearing stylish boots walking short choppy steps to maintain traction, snow grouted cobblestone patterns, grandmothers carrying small Christmas trees back to their flats (Christmas here on Jan 7), and the most perfect individual snowflakes I have ever seen in my life – crystalline holiday miracles.
Feeling full and blessed. I even loved the sloppy drunken men last night in the bar singing their Ukrainian version of Yellow Submarine, although I was playing pool with Lidia so I declined their offer to sit at their table and share in their Cognac.
Wishing you a Joyful New Year.