Sri Lankan Sadness — 4 Comments

  1. Ok, so maybe it's because I'm a girl that I see it this way but… you noticed that:

    – you were angry

    – you were hungry, but nothing sounded good

    – you were sad

    – you used the phase “cranky, grumpy, tired” which evokes pictures of you as a little boy needing soup, hug, and a nap

    and yet somehow you missed that you were getting sick?! That's as statistically improbable as me being “hangry,” and it not being PMS! Some things in life really are that simple 🙂

    xo – hope you are feeling better!

  2. the wierd thing is, after the hate, the sad, then the desolate, comes the euphoria.

    I felt almost suicidal this morning, but some voice just said “breathe”. Then I went to a friend's house to sing kirtan & by evening I was feeling ecstatic. Wow, all in a few hours.

    Take care of yourself, Ted,
    missin you, willow & the girls

  3. Really like this one too, Ted. Your writing/voice is so crisp and honest. Thank you for trusting us enough not to embellish (or minimize)… It is intriguing to read how you learn how to navigate your inner world. I liked this part: “… although it certainly involves a sense of tiredness, aloneness, the poverty of the people here especially as seen from the train, some flavor of futility, self-doubt on various levels, and accumulated losses throughout my life, although I'm sure there's much more to it than just that.”

    That sentence made me smile and think and snortle at the same time.

    There's a lot I wanna say about this, actually… some time…


  4. Hey Ted,

    Over the past many months I've started to consider that anguish or longing for things to be different, better, etc., as love. Sadness too. It is getting more and more automatic, that when I feel sad or in emotional pain, I can acknowledge the love/soul that is the driving or formative force behind the emotion. I think my ordeal with my dad taught me a lot about hate/love; sadness/love, etc. For a while I thought I hated him for the ways he 'left' me (especially when he was still alive). But clearly I LOVED him like crazy.

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