“Do not speak unless you can improve the silence” – Proverbs
You know, lately, I just don’t seem to have a lot to say, and it’s wonderful. It’s as if something has fallen away and I can just sit there with others and not feel as if I have to fill the space with words. It’s an offshoot and reflection of an inner stillness I have been feeling lately. Tonight, I was having Thanksgiving dinner at my friend Guy’s home with his wife, wonderful children and various relatives of theirs – 15 of us sitting around a square table. It was a sublimely wonderful dinner, not just because it was delicious, which it truly was, but for me perhaps it was more wonderful simply because I was largely “present” at the dinner. I was able to be aware of my enjoyment, of the texture of the food, of the fleetingness of time, of the preciousness of the moment with people whom I love very much, of the sacrifice of the turkey (and the pig for the pork roast), and of the simple joy arising within me. And there was very little for me to say. I could have blabbed on and on about something, but it was more than sufficiently pleasing just to be there, witnessing, being. It was very special.
I’ve been feeling this often lately, just a feeling of not having much to say. It’s as if words are becoming superfluous. Not completely of course, but it seems like words in conversation that are more personality driven and less heartful are simply not coming to the surface so much anymore. When the conversation seems to truly have more value, I can be quite wordy, but my need is not so strong to feel as it’s critical for me to have my voice and thoughts heard.