I am done. Completely. Done with the more grueling travel part of this journey. I had hoped to move on to India from here in Sri Lanka, but I just simply have run out of steam and will opt instead for another nice option of visiting my father and his wife in Thailand. My cough has blossomed into a full flowering cold with sneezes and raw-nose hankie sniffles and I just want to be done. I struggled with this decision a lot over the past day and what I realized was that there was an egoic fear in me of throwing in the towel, albeit a sweaty one. Something in me felt like I should be able to keep going. The truth is that I am done. I am done with Sri Lanka, I am done with the third world, and I think a nice slide back through the 2nd world with some good home cookin’ will make a nice transition back to my home in the 1st.
This has been a difficult trip this has been for me, emotionally and physically. Ukraine was actually a wonderful part of the trip, save for my frozen bones, but since then, it’s been a struggle through Istanbul and Sri Lanka. A lot of it I think has to do with my body not feeling good – sore, stiff body and now this cold I have. One of the reasons Thailand sounded extra appealing was the vision of getting massages there. Aaaaahhhhhhhhh.
(next morning) Anyway, I’m off to the airport shortly in the mid-day Sri Lankan heat. Feeling a little better after a great night’s sleep and a short run on the beach this morning. Very much looking forward to seeing my father and his wife and their doggies and kitties. Also looking forward to being back home soon and on retreat with my spiritual group there as well.
Clarity. Relaxing. Ease. Done with the battle of trying to make something out of something that wasn’t working for me.