The Path to Obliteration

Just had a massage today by a very gifted woman. She is very intuitive and actually does the massage with her eyes closed. I seem to have a renewed sense of energy this evening, but that could be from eating protein this morning in the form of a can of Sardines with crackers, or perhaps from the buzz of having my own moped for the first time in India – picture me cruising alongside a massive 1,000 year old temple at dusk belting out a song from my old gospel choir, “Everyday is a Day of Thanksgiving”

Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving,
God’s been so good to me,
Everyday He’s blessing me,
Everyday is a day of Thanksgiving,
Take some time to Glorify the Lord today.

Don’t worry I haven’t switched over to Jesus, but I did sing in a none-too-amazing gospel choir for about 9 years and it sure opens the conduit directly between the heart and God. And God was surely present for the moped ride. I did pray before getting on, which is actually not just going through the motions.

Anyway, after the massage, the masseuse Valerie and I were speaking and she said something kind of funny, but also I think relevant about the exhaustion I’ve been feeling. She said, “sometimes it’s better not to know where you are on the path to obliteration!” There is definitely a dismantlement happening for me here, from the inside out and my experience reminds me that that kind of deep ego work can be very physically exhausting.

She also said a few other things: be kind and loving to myself – she could feel in my heart that I tend to be tough on myself; she felt a low level but deep and old tension and guardedness in my body; and stop trying to achieve so much and just be here and let the process continue to unfold (I had talked about wanting to perhaps study massage in India). All good sound advice. I think I’ll go back to her again this week. Her work may have helped to revitalize me a little. It also felt like she cared for my soul too which was also deeply needed.

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