The Truth of Loosely Holding

I want to write just a little about my sister Loretta. We adopted each other several years back after the passing of her brother (my friend) Rosevelt. She is a dear hearted woman, but she’s really more than that – she’s actually very real too. She says it like it is, and isn’t afraid to tell her truth whether it’s joyful, naughty, or sad and I deeply appreciate that in her. A couple of nights ago we had a long talk on the phone and shared a lot. I’d been feeling a little down during these holidays and being who she is, I was able to freely talk with her about it. My tendency is to keep that to myself, but there was an ache inside and she was able to hold that ache without judgment and also without needing to fix it. I explained to her that she didn’t need to worry about me and she asked me an important question: what’s wrong with having people worry about you? Hmmm….. good one sis. Nothing really, I let all my ego defenses step aside.

I told her I had been struggling with wanting to have a party for my birthday (a brunch on the 30th) but that it had been difficult getting the ball rolling. Feeling introverted I guess, yet craving contact at the same time. She gave great advice. She said, “instead of having a birthday party for yourself, have a party for Teddy.” What a great idea. Made it much easier. I’ve invited a bunch of folks and already about a dozen people have RSVPed. Feeling glad to be having the party, and so appreciative of the support of this dear sister of mine.

In this case, I guess the ‘truth’ is in the love between us and the support that can loosely hold the other in whatever place they are. Her mom (my “momma”) died a couple of months back so I’ve been able to hold her in her need as well. Relationships like this, that live in a deeper space of truth, really give life it’s substance, kind of like the powder that deep paint colors are made of.

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