Woke up this morning and randomly opened up and read in “The Unfolding Now” by A.H. Almaas. He wrote very clearly about the truth that I have come to understand, through this blog and my life, as one of the only real truths we can experience – a personal knowing. Here’s what I read:
If we are interested in being real, we natuarally become interested in being as clear as possible about what is happening, and we want to experience it as intimately and fully as possible – we want to be totally in touch with it. If I am feeling anxiety, for instance, or fear, or terror, I am aware of it. Well, what does that mean? I don’t mean looking at it from far away through a telescope: “Oh,there is fear over there.” No, it’s about feeling what the terror is like, what the pain in my knee is like.
Being aware means immediacy. It means that the tentacles of my soul are wrapping themselves around the feeling, penetrating it and all its parts, feeling it from the inside and outside because my awareness extends everywhere.
Here is what he wrote about the practice of self- inquiry, having 2 basic elements:
- Observing your experience until you become clear about where you are, That is, becoming aware at any moment of what you are actually experiencing, Just remember: Since you are always someplace, it is always possible to recognize where you are.
- Beginning to ask, “What is making this happen?” The moment you ask this question, the inquiry begins to expand our experience of where we are. Since you are not able to immediately comprehend most of your experience, it is natural that you will want to know, “What is making me feel this way?” in any given situation. As you ask what is happening, as you become interested in understanding more about where you are, you will begin to see some truth about your experience. And that understanding will eventrually lead you to grasp the relatinoship between your True Nature and where you are.
This is in a sense what I was referring to in my post yesterday when I said in order to figure out why getting to my meditation cushion was so hard that I was “paying close attention.”
Seeing something that we call truth – something that gives meaning or coherence to what is happening – gives us an overall picture we can comprehend. It’s not only a mental explanation but a felt sense of it being experientially meaningful to us. It makes sense to our heart, to our soul. As this meaning is revealed, we have the experience of insight in our heart, we discover some truth, something we can then know in our mind. And if we continue being where we are and exploring from where we are, the discovery of the truth becomes a process, a deepening thread.