I’ve noticed more acutely lately how dependent my spirit is upon exogenous factors. Something deep inside me knows that whatever happens in the world, that I am essentially the same and that nothing, nothing can ever change that. I have a deep spiritual belief that everything is perfect exactly as it is too, so why does my system get so rattled by things that happen in the world or in my life, since by my own definition, all those events are perfect in their own right? It’s an interesting question to me. I guess the simple answer to that is that I must regularly lose sight of my own beliefs. In a way that implies that I am losing sight of my spiritual core as well. The truth of that is that I am almost always losing sight of my spiritual core. I guess the reason that I have a spiritual path is to help tighten the circling I do around the truth that I know to be true.
If I am really grounded, which to me means that I am much closer to my spiritual self, then factors in the world, in relationships, or in practical life matters really don’t effect me very much. I sure can get thrown, though. Lately, I’ve been feeling much more battered about by life, having much more variance in my days than I’ve historically been used to. Yesterday, I awoke with funk music in my brains and ended up dancing in the kitchen to “Operator (This is an Emergency”) by Midnight Star. It turned into a wonderful day. I think it partly was reflecting of the change in the sky with the gray and fog being replaced by the blue sky. Other days, however, have more weight, burden, and avoidance flavors.
There is much more to it than that, but I’m writing this to start a more concerted personal investigation into my spirit and what factors seem to influence it, while comparing that to the things which seem to take me further and further afield from my true core belief that everything is perfect exactly as it is.