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Spilling the Contents of Your PotThere are boundaries to expression which most all of us would be well served to cross. Living our lives with too much restraint can be an almost certain shortcut to dissatisfaction.... -
Junkie for the Open RoadBuilding a mobile camper van. It's been a vision of mine for the past couple of years. Last winter's road trip with Alexandra down to Baja really helped to add some... -
Train Travel Through Time and the Search for BelongingThey left Belarus in 1923 and the good life that they had created. Times had changed and the place of their home was no longer one in which they could remain.... -
The Magic of TravelAll journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. Martin Buber The Magic of travel is happening here for me in Belarus. I'm currently in Vitebsk, the childhood home of my... -
Visions of MinskI couldn't quite find the heart of Minsk. Some places just feel heavier than others and Minsk seems to fall in to that heavy category for me. Life there feels burdensome... -
Returning to Belarus - A Journey of DiscoveryI'm on an airplane to Belarus and I find myself a bit teary. Not quite sure why, but it just feels like I'm feeling the sadness of my family for having...
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Attending to Transitions - Saying Goodbye with Awareness and...I just departed Nepal. I've been there enough times now (six) that it's becoming somewhat of a second home for me. My time of course is largely spent with Nepal Orphans... -
Unlearning to Unlove, an Unorthodox Path to LoveLove is not a learning, but a growth. All that is needed on your part is not how to learn the ways of love, but how to unlearn the ways of...
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The Inner Voyage of DiscoveryI love long plane rides. Time so generously pauses while traveling by plane. Caught in that peaceful interlude somewhere between the inhale of home and the exhale of destination, you board...
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Loving Support - The Elixir of LifeLately, I've been recognizing how thoroughly invaluable we all are to each other along our journey of becoming the true beings that we were meant to be. We play critical roles...
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Welcome to Our Shared HumannessDifficulties occur in life. Challenges arise for all of us. The beauty of it all is that these struggles are something which, if attended to, can deeply connect us. Think for...
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Eyes of CompassionPeople who are special are very good at making other people feel special. It's a well-honed talent which has it's roots in humility and kindness. Joyce Hayes was a master at making others feel special.... -
The End of Goodness?Like many of us, I emerged into this world with a strong moral code. You simply do the right thing. Period. The obligation of true adulthood is that you speak the... -
Escaping the Kinetic Bounds of our BirthWe are to a large extent what our parents make of us. While of course we are all magnificently unique beings, and have varying degrees of agency in terms of how... -
Photography and Training the Soul to See BeautyI've been enjoying photography for most of my life now. Some might even call me a “photographer” but to me, it's simply one of my many things I love. I'm hesitant...
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Manifestation and Returning to NepalEn route to Nepal again, this time with a plane change in Taipei and an overnight in Bangkok. I've travelled rather extensively, especially in recent years, and in the lead up...
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Nepal Trek – Upper Mustang – Part V –...We came back to Ghemi from Lo Manthang by Jeep in order to make it to the Yar Tung festival. Hiked an hour to get to a very high field tucked... -
For All We Know...After working with the after school programs this afternoon at the orphanage I went to the boys house to work with one of the boys on filming his part for the...
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Nepal Trek - Upper Mustang - Part IIDay 2: Kagbeni - Chele Chele our hotel in Chele. My room was third from the right. See the wind flapping the prayer flags These treks are getting tougher. Longer day along the Kali...
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Nepal Trek - Upper Mustang - Part IJomsom to Kagbeni I Love spaciousness. My soul loves being in the middle of vastness. Something in me very simply relaxes. This feels like the most amazing place in the world. It...
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Update From NepalJust the other day I was telling a friend that I need to push past my comfort zone and head out on a trek. What I loved about that statement was...
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... And Then There's This MomentAll we really have is a long string of moments which, when concatenated together, extend into a lifetime. While we do our best to fill those moments with value, with meaning,... -
Kathmandu ImpressionsI wandered some of the streets, alleyways, and courtyards of Kathmandu yesterday, partly as a photographic excursion and also to get a first hand glimpse of the effects of the recent...
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Travel, Presence and Cultivating Meaningful WorkIt's kind of amazing how quickly I can kick into a different mode while traveling. Something happens to me once I finish everything I need to finish prior to a trip....
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Establishing Habits for Positive ChangeOver the past several months, I have been playing with making positive changes in my life. In the process, I've learned a lot about habits, both positive and negative, and how... -
Nepal Earthquake and Kissing the Tea Cup GoodbyeI'm shaken from the recent earthquake in Nepal and I'm not even there right now. My stomach has beeb twisted and a low-level but pervasive anxiety seems to be coursing through... -
Buddha's TruthI just ran across this quote attributed to the Buddha and I appreciate it very much as another articulation of truth: what we should believe, and as importantly what and who...
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Right "Lively" HoodI just left Nepal after being there for the past 6 weeks and I am feeling full of life and vibrancy. I've been reading the “Thank You” and “Safe Journey” letters...
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Inexplicable SweetnessIt's 3:30pm, and one by one the children from my Khan Academy math class start entering the room. It is difficult to express how sweet it feels when little Gita, or...
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Opening a Blind EyeFrom the dawn-laced window of my hotel room on a hilltop on the outskirts of Bhaktapur, the seat of one of the ancient kingdoms of the Kathmandu Valley, the skies are...
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Nepal Journal - Photography as MeditationHaving a spiritual path has a value which I readily recognize, especially so if it helps leads to the truth of who we are and brings one more present into his/her... -
Supremely HappyI feel supremely happy. It was a phrase that hit me the other afternoon. I've been helping establish an online mathematics program here in Kathmandu for an orphanage (Nepal Orphan's Home)... -
Confessions of a Cold Weather WimpI hate being cold. I do. Here in Kathmandu, my bones are cold. The days are lovely and sunny and pleasantly warm, but once the sun goes down, the cold from these... -
Political Protest and Rallies in Kathmandu(written on Jan 20, 2015) I arrived here in Kathmandu, Nepal to the news of some chair and shoe throwing antics at the Constitutional Political Dialogue and Consensus Committee. In response, a... -
Observations from Delhi Airport and Breaking the Sugar AttachmentOn my way returning to Kathmandu, Nepal to work with Nepal Orphan's Home on using Khan Academy with their kids. While traveling there from London, I just barely caught my connection... -
Service and Self WorthI'm recognizing how much our lives seem to be dictated by our perceptions of our own self worth. Questions of self worth seem to be pervasive in the human experience and... -
Departing Nepal and Further Orphanage ConnectionI've departed Nepal, but not without already feeling like my life may have been permanently altered. I have loved Nepal. So much more to learn and explore here. Volunteering at the...
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Finishing the Trek and Farewell to the OrphanageI'll spare you the details of the trek. I tried writing about it and I guess I'm just not excited much by a travelogue. The trek was enjoyable though and the...
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The Practice of NamasteOne of the most beautiful things in this country, and there are many to choose from, is the custom of greeting another with the word "namaste." It is often said with...
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Wandering a World of Uneven OpportunityWhile on this short trek, it feels so gratuitous to have hired a guide to carry my things. Saying thank you regularly doesn't seem to truly assuage the awkwardness for me....
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The Practice of Wide-Eyed WonderToday was my first day trekking in Nepal, on on something known as the Royal Trek which is very untouristed, even in the high season. I'm loving it so far....
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Retraction from Previous Orphanage PostI feel as if I want to issue a retraction of sorts on that last post that I made. I've been feeling like something wasn't quite right about it. I believe...
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Love and the Nepal Orphanage UnderbellyI've been volunteering here for a week now and I am so glad that I've made this choice. The sweetness and connection with the children is very reaffirming. I'm a bit...
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Pokhara - Reflections of Beauty at an OrphanageToday was my first day of volunteering at an orphanage here in Pokhara. One of the reasons I came to Nepal was to have an opportunity to help with kids. It...
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Kathamndu and the Beautiful DemonsKathmandu is not necessarily the easiest place to spend time, but it's awe inspiring none the less. A bustling sprawl of shops, pedal rickshaws, Suzuki taxis, motorcycles, and vendors of vast...
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Namaste - Arriving in NepalJust landed in Nepal for a bit of a summer's end adventure. This type of travel, the travel away from comfort, security and familiarity towards the discomfort (and of course wonder)... -
The Judgment / Love SwitchThere isn’t anybody, as far as I can tell, about whom I don’t carry some form of judgment. I discovered this earlier this year while I was on a retreat and as...
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A View from FiftyI said to one of my visiting friends the morning after my 50th birthday party, as I was carrying out some recycling: “after 50, chop wood and carry water.” It’s a... -
Settling InFor many of us there can be a sense of clinging to an idea of a life other than the one which we are living. We may be living our lives,... -
Prop 34 and Ending the Death Penalty - an...Although most people are paying significant attention to the presidential race here in America, most people I talk with in California are not aware that there is a ballot proposition (Prop... -
The Great Animal HolocaustToday we are living through and largely partaking in what I believe will someday come to be known as The Great Animal Holocaust. As a global society, we eat the flesh... -
Calcification, the Corollary to Human MaturityI believe it to be true that the older we get the more wise and mature most of us become. It is a true blessing to outgrow the angst of youth... -
VIsiting AuschwitzI went to Auschwitz and Birkenau today, and it was a challenging experience. I hated my guide. It was a hot day here in Poland and the trip over in a minivan... -
Leaving for AuschwitzI leave for Auschwitz in an hour. Even that sentence has an ominous quality, as if I'm going there not as a visitor but as a Jewish captive and can hear the...
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Choosing to Not Indulge Our MindsI think we all have splits, to one degree or another, in our personalities. Part of us wants one thing while another part wants something else. We may want a bowl... -
Speaking the Whole Truth - A Path to AuthenticityThe more I am honest with myself, the more I realize that there is a distinct split between what we present to others and that which is actually our truth. This... -
Being In LoveI have a confession to make. I'm quite curious about what it means to be in love. Don't get me wrong, I do love. I feel love very often, many many... -
Immediacy and PerformanceI performed last night, and I LOVED it. I had so much fun. It was such a different experience to anything that I had had when I've performed in the past.... -
Taking My Space – Performing Music Again(written 2 days ago) I will be performing in a couple of nights, playing the piano and singing at a restaurant/bar in my town and I'm excited about it. It's been... -
I Am an Ant Killer!I am in ant killer! It's true. I recently returned from being away from my home for about a month, and I walked into my kitchen only to find rivulets of... -
thisOver the past many years, I've continued to be interested in learning something which might be considered akin to the truth as pertains to reality and our existence. Some things are... -
Wanting Even That Which We Don't LikeI read something a week or so ago which pretty much stopped me in my tracks. It was one of those things, that, if true, would imply that perhaps my entire... -
Spreading the Love - Busted AgainI just got busted. Not criminally busted, but caught once again writing "I Love You" as my signature when I charged a purchase yesterday. The sales clerk looked at the signature... -
Video with Mooji, I Cound Not Get on the...While I was in India for the first few months of 2009, I sat for a time with Mooji, a wonderful spiritual teacher and very heartful human being. While there and... -
Making Space to Change - Untethering from TechnologyAs humans we naturally want to make changes in our lives, yet we often fail in manifesting those changes because we simply haven't created the necessary holding space wherein those changes... -
Taking Aims - Cultivating Independence from Moodsfrom http://letterboxcity.com In our lives, we seem to have lots of moods that have incredible power over us – now I'm angry, now heavy, now lazy, now being hard on myself, now... -
30th High School Reunion and the Arc of Our...Last night, I went to my 30th high school reunion and had a sublimely wonderful time. There is apart of me that would love to write a no-holds-barred gossipy expose, naming... -
Dust in the Wind - The Impermanence of MemoriesPlaces don't have memories. Memories of places belong to the people who hold those memories. When they forget, or die, the memories which they hold die along with them. This doesn't... -
Cultivating AcceptanceThere are times in life when another's behavior can really get to us, and we become oblivious to the possibility that there may be some form of mental or emotional impairment... -
All the True Vows - David WhyteI just re-read this poem yesterday and feel the truth it touches in my own soul. To me it gently encourages that otherwise oft terrifying connection to what is really true...
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"Food Circle Now" - Our Lives of IsolationI'm still being deeply affected by my time at Rainbow although leaving there a couple of days ago. After leaving Rainbow for a couple of days in Porto, Portugal, the home...
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Rainbow Portugal Day 10, Paths of Resistance and Intentional...Today is Day 10 at the European Rainbow gathering in Portugal and I'm still loving it here. There is something about living together in community which really touches me, which clearly... -
European Rainbow Gathering - Portugal - Day 5(Written 8 days ago on Aug 9th) I'm at my second European Rainbow Gathering right now, Day 5, and I love it. This one is in Portugal, and the last one... -
The Power of Belief and the Vial of PositivitySo I am off with Sonia to Portugal to the European Rainbow gathering and, while still at the airport in England I am feeling the stirrings of openness happening within me....
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Closed Minded with Geomancers in Glastonbury, EnglandSomething is amiss in the mists of Avalon, a.k.a. Glastonbury, England, and it's either me or new age spirituality. I just don't seem to have much accordance with crystal healers and... -
Vacations and Returning to ExhaleI'm coming to understand the power and necessity of having vacations now and again. Two mornings ago, while sitting in the sun in my friend Paul's back yard having tea with... -
There but for the Grace of God, Drunkenly Go...Yesterday I got a keen glimpse into an underbelly of English life at the Pevensey Bay Music Festival. I went there with my friend Paul and his sister Sarah. As we... -
Coming Home to SelfI'm finally returning. Not home, but to myself. I'm in London where I've been, outside of that 3 day jaunt to Belgium, for the past couple of weeks. I had been struggling some... -
Generosity and Hospitality in BelgiumI learned some very nice lessons in generosity and hospitality while spending these past few days in Belgium. My dear fried Guy whom I know from Oakland back in California was...
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Musings from the Eurostar on Uncertainty and CommitmentI've been about as non-committal as a person can be lately, hardly ever knowing my plans more than a few days out. It started with trying to figure out when I... -
Where's the Dream....?For just as happiness is more than the absence of sadness, so is peace infinitely more than the absence of war. Even the refugee must do more than flee. He must... -
Losing GroundI'm writing this from the air, a strange place perhaps to write about “ground,” I know, but as I leave my ground in California heading for other places and lands, I... -
Good PeopleI sure appreciate having good people in my life. If nothing else, my epitaph someday could read, “Here lies Ted. Managed to attract really good people into his life.” Good people... -
Leaving the HomelandIt’s time for me to leave my home again. As many of you know, I rent my home out often as a vacation rental and since summer is peak season (folks... -
Walking Around in a Digital FogThis technological age is really messing with our capacity to be present to our own lives and we all seem to be unaware of it. In my opinion, we are actually... -
Are Women Really a Handful?I was having a telephone conversation yesterday with a dear female friend of mine, talking about relationships and the effect we have on others and the effect they have on us. ... -
Surrender and Existential PerfectionThis is a topic I don't particularly want to write about. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if whatever comes out here gets dutifully apportioned to the recycle bin. It's a... -
Fasting and a New SpringAs of this morning I am on day 6 of a clear liquids fast - just juices, broth,, water and tea. It's a path towards cleaning out one's system, removing toxins,... -
Bumping Up Against SpringI'm bumping up against spring in a way I don't recall having done so before. My feet feel like bulbs planted in the soil of winter yet they aren't quite ready... -
Fighting the FlowA couple of poems I wrote while my nephews are visiting: fighting the flow we tried to change the flow of a river yesterday we three boys moving logs, mortaring with sand changing its course...
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Whose Life Is This Anyway?How do we determine what we like, what we don't, what we believe, what we don't, what we want, what we don't? The more I look at this, the more surprisingly...
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I Am NOT ThatI just recently finished a 9 day retreat, and while on that retreat, I somehow became more oppositional than I have ever been. It was so strong that I could hardly... -
Saying "I Love You"Of all the phrases in the English language, “I love you” seems to be one of the more challenging ones to say. “I love you” is very different than “love ya”... -
Wanting Cake and PieI don't fully understand why people lie, why they are so afraid of the truth. I continue to become more and more a fan of it. The more I write this... -
The White Lie and What's Really TrueThe main issue that continues to arise for me lately is that of maturation and finding my own true voice. I've been practicing saying what is true for me while confronting... -
Growing UpYesterday I went to see a skin specialist because of some poison oak which is affecting my eyes. I am not a pretty picture. When I got there, they checked my... -
You Never KnowStrange how time flies. Today would have been my mother’s 90th birthday, were she still alive today. I’ve been listening to Michael Franti music when I run along the ocean lately. Actually,... -
Delcaration of Theistic IndependenceI don't believe in God. I don't believe in a higher being. I don't believe in True Nature, The Absolute or any of the other mystical names atributed to God-like capacities.... -
Cosmic SituationThe heavenly illuminations in this image are galaxies. Not stars, but galaxies, with each point of light housing its own collection of millions of stars. I noticed yesterday that stars don't... -
Confessions of a Fermentation Obsessive(top row l-r) almonds soaking, ginger lemon garlic spread made with almond nut meats, miso fig nut cheese, almond milk, sprouting wheat and rye for rejuvelac; (middle row) pickles, kimchee, apple...
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Holiday Rains and StillnessIt's Christmas eve and I'm having a very lovely and still evening by myself in my home. Earlier in the day I felt some pangs of not wanting to be alone.... -
Phosphorescence, Knowingness and TotalityThe other night I was in my hottub looking out at the ocean under a beautiful star-filled midnight sky. There was no moon present so it was very dark, yet the...
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MoltingIt's been awhile since I've written here, I know. I've been going through some fairly large changes lately and simply haven't felt the urge to write here. Actually the urge has...
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The Urge to CultivateI want to explore a little here about gathering, cultivating and harvesting. Having spent most of my life in cities rather than on a farm or in the country, I didn't...
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Friends, Golf, Laughs and SilenceI'm feeling very blessed these days with friends, and with the time I've been able to have with them recently. Two separate times this summer, I was able to have a...
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The House of BelongingI'm so glad to be home. I wasn't fully expecting this, but it's just so nice being back here. I love this place, this ocean, the stars at night, the silences,...
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SpaciousnessI've noticed something on this drive across the southwest. I've driven from Chicago down through Illinois, through parts of Missouri and Tennessee, across Arkansas, down through and across Texas, up into...
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Robb EnvyMy first stop on this drive was Memphis to visit my friend Robb. He's not someone I've been very close to through the years, but we were acquaintances back in grammar...
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Austin, TX Constriction Amidst the ExpansionI spent some time in Austin a day or so ago with my dear friend LZ. She's an amazing Blues/gospel singer. You can check her out at: http://www.lz-love.com/index.html and I encourage you...
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Bibles for China - Driving Through the Evangelical SouthI've been driving for a couple of days now, leaving Chicago early Thursday morning, spending the night with an old friend of mine in Memphis, and then driving again today through... -
Waking Up Into My LifeI'm leaving Ukraine in a few days and heading back home. Actually, I'll be going back to Chicago first to check in on some business stuff, friends and family. Hopefully I'll...
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“Shoulds” and the Rumblings of ManifestationI'm back in Chernivtsi in Ukraine, where I've been a few times over the past year now, and while I like it here, it's easy for me to see how having...
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Space and the Avoidance of Specific DiscomfortsSpace is a funny word for me as it's a bit of a two-edged sword. On one hand, spaciousness is one of the more delicious feelings that occurs for us in...
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Loving the Choo ChooI started this a few days ago, prior to departing Bulgaria: I realize that I haven't written much since I've been on this journey, and I suppose there are a few reasons... -
Home, the Ground of Love, and Flights of FancyI'm sitting here in Bulgaria and over the past day have been feeling homesick – not acutely, but definitely missing my home. Partly it may have to do with the strangeness...
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The Continuum of Mental Health - Where do you...My time spent in France has been very simple and enjoyable. Most of my time this past week or so has been at Karma Ling, a Tibetan Dharma center in the...
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The Constellation of My Life, in an OnionI was just eating lunch here at Karma Ling in France, and something sweet and wonderful happened. We spend the first 15 minutes of lunch in silence (which I very much... -
Noise in the Silence, Silence in the NoiseI want to write a little about noise. Not the obvious honking horns and airplanes taking off kind of noise, but rather the noise that only appears when everything is perfectly... -
Lives as They UnfoldI'm back in Chicago where I've been for a little over a week now. As most of you know, this is where I was born and grew up so I have...
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FamilySo difficult sometimes just being family. I don't want to get into details here, because after all, it is family, but drawing the line between getting involved with helping family, versus...
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Where My Heart Wants to BeIn the past few weeks, I've made special efforts to help others or otherwise go where needed. This included going to a graduation and a dance recital for the dear daughters... -
Breaking the Tether of Technology - Backpacking the Lost...I just spent 5 days backpacking by myself in what is referred to as “The Lost Coast” of California. It's a very rugged and beautiful section of coastline where Hwy 1...
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Where Am I Needed?I’ve been struggling a bit lately, and it’s being spurred on by my needing to vacate my home in favor of vacation renters who I’ve lined up for much of the... -
Creating Our Own LimitationsI noticed something about limitations today and how our perceptions actually help to form our limitations. Recently, I've been having some physical difficulty with my neck, and it made me re-assess...
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Silence, Thieves, Love and ElectronsMy last post was a short but sweet one mentioning the desire for contact which has been arising and also for silence (see "silent spaces"). Today I had a video Skype... -
slient spacesFeeling the need for contact. House feels a little large and empty tonight. Not wanting to talk much really, just a little with nice silent spaces between the words or at...
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"Yah, and Whose Fault is That?"I returned from my weekly local Buddhist Meditation group this evening and I must say I really love it. And not for any reason you could easily imagine. It's not that... -
I Am Not a Photographer - An Exploration of...Since returning home near the end of February from my last bout of travels, I haven't been able to take photographs. It's been a somewhat strange experience as it has simply...
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Just Be ThereI'm in Oakland right now staying at the home of my friend Michele and her daughter (my goddaughter) Djuna. This morning, Djuna, not yet 4, kept telling me all the things... -
The Aloneness InterplayLately, I’ve been noticing more issues around being alone arising. When I say “being alone” I don't just mean in the obvious way of not being with a partner on a...
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Perfect ImperfectionI've been thinking a lot about perfection lately, as it relates to myself, others and the universe as a whole. There is something in me which is oriented towards believing that... -
Unfolding Exactly as it Should?My storm seems to have passed, at least for the moment. In a way, I feel like I've lost my process slightly, but I also feel like I've settled into a...
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Feeling..........simple.
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Dancing with IgorI woke up this morning and picked up a book I have called "Facets of Unity - The Enneagram of Holy Ideas" and started reading in it. As I read, I... -
Ocean's Breath of LifeI'm loving taking long walks on the beach lately. The ocean here is so different than oceans around the world. I've been in many places and have swam in many oceans,...
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The Mitochodrial UrgeI've continued to be on quite a ride since returning to the states, but, at least for the moment, I seem to be coming through to someplace. Where, I'm not sure,... -
When the Waters Were ChangedOnce upon a time Khidr, the teacher of Moses, called upon mankind with a warning. At a certain date, he said, all the water in the world which had not been... -
The Truth, The Whole Truth, and Nothing But the...I awoke this morning thinking about the oath that we take in a court of law in the United States where people swear to tell “the truth, the whole truth, and... -
More Like the Butter and Less Like the Fly...I almost started this post out by apologizing for not writing for awhile but in fact I'm not sorry about it. I've really been unable to write, although not for a... -
Plate Spinning and the TruthI'm back in the U.S. on a 10 day retreat now and there are some very deep things moving for me here. The beautiful part for me is that, like the...
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Out of Sight, Out of Mind"I think we are blind. Blind people who can see, but do not see." ~Jose Saramago~ I've been noticing lately, how many things there are that we hide from ourselves so we don't... -
Travel Gleanings"All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware." ~Martin Buber~ I'm on a plane returning to the states right now and thinking about what I've learned on this trip. What...
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Family Detours in ThailandSorry I haven't written here in the past week. I had meant to, but life has a way of traveling it's own direction despite our intentions and planning. I moved on...
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DisconnectionToday it began to become clear to me what has been the reason for my more emotional swings while on this trip. As you know if you've been reading lately, there's... -
A Few Reasons I Love IndiaA friend of mine recently questioned why I love India so much. Here are a few reasons: The other night, I walked around Arunachala, the mountain residence along with Mt. Kailash in...
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Mooji and Returning to "I"(started on 28-Jan-2010) Feeling very fragile right now. Very easily irritated and annoyed. I just want to be settled in somewhere that feels comfortable and like home. It's been an ordeal...
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Stay, Trust, RemainIt's hard to believe that I'm sitting here in the airport in India, just passing through, and that I'm not really going to spend time in this place that I love....
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Throwing in the Sweaty TowelI am done. Completely. Done with the more grueling travel part of this journey. I had hoped to move on to India from here in Sri Lanka, but I just simply...
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RememberingI know what it is like to feel peaceful and still inside. I have had this experience as a way of being for a good part of this last year. This...
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Sri Lankan SadnessI'm going through a whole different thing at the moment, and I think it's related to the hate thing I wrote about the other day, but it's moved in another direction....
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Give Me Some Hate!I think I need to throw out a counterbalancing entry here because both sides of the coin seem to be true here for me, I love it and I am hating...
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Loving Life in Colombo, Sri LankaIt didn't take long. Yesterday I fell in love with Sri Lanka. Actually it's almost as if I fell in love with Life, for life is happening here, it's right here...
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Sri Lanka - First ImpressionsJust what the doctor ordered! I am so happy to be here in Sri Lanka. And warm!!!!! What I've missed, aside from the warm weather, has been warm smiles and here,... -
Last Day in Istanbul and on to Sri LankaI just realized something. I've been gone from home for 3 ½ weeks and I've had only one morning this entire time where there was sunshine where I've been. I am... -
Istanbul - Outside the FishbowlI'm here in Istanbul and it's chilly. After 3 weeks in wintry Ukraine and a few more days here, I am tired of the cold. My head is cold. Today I...
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"Perfect Truth in World Existence is Possible"I just read my friend Lori's post on her Circumsolatious blog. She posted an excerpt from a writing by Sri Aurobindo, the Indian metaphysician/yogi who left his earthly body back in... -
Speaking the Truth and On to IstanbulOff I go – onward from Ukraine. I really had a wonderful time there, especially in terms of adventures of the heart. Beyond relationship, though, Ukraine, while interesting to me, is...
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Shaving My Beard and the Struggle for AutonomyI shaved my beard the other day and I went through a much stronger response than I had anticipated. Lidia had wanted to see me without a beard and I hesitated...
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Silence PleaseSilence, Please You who have run my life, my plans, my past, my future. You may not have my present. This moment is mine. This love, my treasure. And you will not despoil it with your negations,... -
Sweet Moon LanguageA friend of mine sent me this poem a few days ago and while it touched me then, it continues to seep into my soul in an unexpected way. With That Moon... -
What Am I Afraid Of?If you read my last post, you'll know that it was a very personal post, a post about what I see as a somewhat substantial shortcoming of mine in relationship. My...
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Push / PullDear world, I came to a difficult realization this morning, that I have difficulty when it comes to loving another human being. I can actually love very well and have made great...
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Snowy New Year in L'vivStill in L'viv and heavy flakes are falling down on this New Year's Eve day. Walked past a homeless woman with a large wooly dog and a large gathering of bags... -
Momentary Grace in L'vivI'm having a very sweet time here in L'viv. I'm here with Lidia, a woman I met while traveling here in Ukraine this past summer. We are meeting up here for... -
Don't Make Me Go to that PartyI'm feeling a little uncomfortable this past day or so. What I'm noticing right now is how nice it is to be in small more intimate settings, one-on-one with someone familiar,...
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The Wish to be GenerousI ran across this poem and somehow it seems to touch something deeper in me, something about making peace with what is. Not being at odds with reality. Being perfectly content...
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OCD - Opportune Cleansing and Dismantlement?I’m not fully sure what is happening lately, but while I was wiping out my freezer after having cleared it out and purged lots of old stuff, I had to start... -
This Moment as ManifestationLast night, I was sitting downstairs in my home at a worktable I've set up, working on printing photographic images and also on a book project that has been brewing, and...
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Being Quiet“Do not speak unless you can improve the silence” - Proverbs You know, lately, I just don't seem to have a lot to say, and it's wonderful. It's as if something has... -
For These I Am ThankfulHere's my shortlist of things that I am thankful for this Thanksgiving: All of the people in my life whom I love and/or who love me Peace of mind Health Financial stability Living life in a...
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Please Pass the Enlightenment? - Thoughts on a More...In my opinion, Thanksgiving is the most spiritual of holidays in America. For those of you who bristle at the word "spiritual," I hope you will see that the term doesn't... -
"Nobody Gives a Shit" and the Sublime AlonenessI’m in a very interesting place right now, one which has been fraught with struggle as well as blessed with perfection and liberation. What I’ve seen lately is that the more...
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Alternative Measures of SuccessMy friend Diane stopped by for a visit for a couple of days on her way back home to Vancouver and since she’s an avid photographer, we went out a couple... -
Contagious Love ExperimentYesterday there was a confluence of events that has helped to open my eyes to the Practices of Kindness and Generosity. Three different things pointed that way and when multiple fingers...
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Questions on the Path"Two roads diverged in the woods and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." ~Robert Frost I am coming up against a dilemma in my... -
The iPod Method for Spiritual EnlightenmentMany of us seek some form of enlightenment, a release from the mind, so that there can remain a simple capacity to just “be.” So off we run to workshops, travel... -
Brother(written a few days ago) I’m at my brother’s house about an hour outside of Chicago, in a place called Wonder Lake. I wasn’t planning on staying the night, but he asked...
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Farewell UkrainyaFarewell Ukraine. On a plane on my way from Kiev towards a stop in London on my way back to the States. There was something special about Ukraine for me. Funny,... -
Home, Homeland and the HeartIt’s quite powerful the pull that a land, a place can have on us, and how unabashedly quickly that can develop. When I left Ukraine by train a few weeks ago... -
They WonI’m a little upset lately, in seeing life going on here in Ukraine without many Jews being present. This area used to have many, many Jews and now they are largely... -
Ever-Increasing PerfectionLife is good, and then it gets better, and then better yet, and then…. Hard to explain this one, but its how it feels. I remember years back, there used to be...
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Khotyn - Cultural Longing and IdentificationI returned again to Khotyn yesterday evening. I’m not exactly certain as to why, but perhaps that will unfold as I am here. The excuse I told myself in planning to...
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Babi Yar - Light from DarknessThis morning I went to the Babi Yar ravine in Kiev, where a large massacre of Jews took place in September of 1941. I wasn’t quite sure why I was going,... -
Tomorrow to Babi YarTomorrow, barring unforeseen emotional breakdowns or interventions, I am going to visit Babi Yar, a place in Kiev where over two days over 33,000 Jews were killed. Not gassed, but lined...
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Shining a Light on PetulanceNoticing all sorts of things about myself today. I wrote to my cousin Riva today, (my father’s cousin actually) and in the message I wrote that “travels seem to give my...
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To Be Fully Awake to Life is to be...To be fully awake to life is to be Joyful. I realized that while eating a meal with a dear friend I’ve made here in Europe. As we were about to start... -
Musings from the Train(A few thoughts from the Bulgarian Express, a 23 hour train ride from Chernivtsi, Ukraine to Sofia, Bulgaria) Romania is depressing. Simple as that. Everything seen from the train appears to be...
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Ancestral GriefOnce again ancestral grief rears it’s pain again through me. If you’ll recall from a recent post about bringing some of my mother’s ashes to rest with her first husband Joe...
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This Precious MealThis Precious Meal Can I make you some fried eggs? Simple words, a simple gesture really. I eat the words, the offer, more hungrily than the eggs, Though I languor over them to slow this...
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Journey to KhotinSo here I am back at the shtetl. Khotyn, Ukraine, home of my grandfather and his family and who knows how many generations before him. We arrived in Khotyn, interpreter, driver and...
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Roots Research - Archives UkraineToday I hired an interpreter and went off in search of some records which I believed to exist in the town I am in now, Kamyanets - Podilsky, records of the...
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The Burden of my Grandfathers Homeland - BessarabiaI just read a Wikipedia article on Bessarabia, since no one seems to use the term anymore, yet if you had asked my grandfather, Bessarabia is where he would have claimed... -
Things We've Handed Down - Family RootsSo now I’m off in search of my ancestry, more specifically to find the roots of my paternal grandfather Moise Zeldman who came from a town called Khotin (pronounced around here... -
"Boodh Mo!"What an amazing evening. I had met a couple of men in their mid twenties in L’viv while hanging out at an outdoor café near the opera house and they had...
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Jesus, Joy and DancingYesterday I was wandering around L’viv, Ukraine and making the rounds of some of the historic churches here. Sometimes when I walk into a church I feel incredibly liberated, uplifted. It’s... -
Exploration of Joy, Rainbow part.2(started a few days ago) Leaving Rainbow tomorrow and I really hate to leave. I’ve been having such a wonderful time here. Making so many friends and having wonderful experiences. Noticing...
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Rainbow Gathering - Ukraine - Part 1(Posted 1 week after writing) Rainbow Gathering. Ukraine. I absolutely love it. I sure love where the wind seems to blow me these days. For those of you not familiar with these...
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Ancestral Lands Quest BeginsHey, I've cranked out 100 posts now since I began this blog 2 years ago. Kind of exciting. I'd say that gives me room for a break. Actually I'll be falling...
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Lu and Joey Together Again and the Inheritance of...I did it. I brought what remains of my mother’s ashes to rest with her first husband Joe in a cemetery in France. (Please read previous post first for more background)....
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Reunion and Separation - Mom's Ashes to FranceI am on my way to the cemetery in France with some of my mothers ashes. As I mentioned in a previous post, I am bringing her to rest with her... -
I Am 46I am 46 years old. 46 ½ actually. So? To some of you that may seem old and to some that may seem rather young. In recent years, my age has begun to...
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We Learn to Love by LovingI’m in London at the moment, as I’ve really enjoyed my time in England these past several weeks. I seem to have connected with a really good group of people, people... -
We Learn to Do by DoingIt all gets a little tricky when we try to implement our spiritual realizations with our lives as humans. I went through a very challenging day a few days ago...
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The Love We SeekI wrote this post several days ago at the tail end of the Buddhafield festival in England. Since then, I’ve been unable to find my charger so I haven’t had access... -
Buddhafield - LIfe As It Should Be(This post written a couple of days ago). I’m at the Buddhafield Festival gathering at the moment near Glastonbury, England and am definitely loving it. It’s a large gathering of people... -
Lust for ExistenceI’m learning something about sexual power and energy and I like that which is beginning to become clear. I’m in the south of England right now and I’ve spent a couple...
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InchwormToday is the day I dealt with the "Chicago portion" of my mom's ashes. It was a wonderful experience. I drove to Foster Ave. beach where my mother loved to...
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Healing Laughing and HuggingI just want to write a little about an amazing person, my sister-in-law Barb. She's my brother Jeff's wife and it is beyond question for me that she laughs more...
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Journey of Ashes - BeginningHere I am at the beginning of this trip, a trip which will include disposing of my mother's ashes. It is a pilgrimage of sorts, which is really just a subset... -
Mom's AshesAs I mentioned in my last post, part of the reason for this trip is to dispose of my share of my mom's ashes. It's something I've never dealt with and... -
ResistanceIt's time for me to travel some again and I'm feeling a lot of resistance coming up so I want to explore here what that is about for me. I'm renting... -
Saying Yes to Our ExperienceSo I'm back onto the "Just Say Yes" exploration here again which began on my India trip. While there, I took my father's parting advice to "just say 'yes." The point...
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Turning One's Eyes Toward SufferingI just realized something this morning. In preparing for my first dharma talk which I'll be giving at Kumeido in Little River this afternoon, and I was thinking about my travels... -
Walking the Edge of RealityI woke this morning at 5:47am. After being up after my Tuesday night poker game until midnight, that was a little early for me to be getting up. As I started...
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Farewell Alan Palmer (Psiplex) and Thank YouThe most frequent commenter to my blog while I was traveling in India was a man named Alan Palmer, who wrote his own blog called Psiplex. He had head and neck... -
Self Protection? Just Good Sense?Since I've been back in the states, about 5 weeks now, I still haven't watched any news programs (except Jon Stewart on The Daily Show - but that doesn't really count,...
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Living in the Mind vs. Living in the HeartI noticed something very interesting yesterday. For the first time since I've been back in the US, I started feeling disconnected. I went to a meditation group, talk and dinner that...
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The Spirituality of Flipping Someone OffSo there I was, driving home along Hwy 20 which winds determinedly through the hills which protect the coast, when a car pulled up very close to my rear bumper. I... -
Separation and the Sense of HomeI’ve been noticing with a little bit of surprise and wonder how I’ve managed to come back to the United States and have such a seamless re-entry process. Today while walking...
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As MeI'm back in my home again, and what a sweet place it is to be. When I pulled into the driveway, I sat there for a minute anticipating the smell...
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(Some of) What I Learned in IndiaIndia has been an amazing place for me to spend time. An amazing holding place. In a way it was like an incubator can be for a newborn, a place to...
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Ready to Sing Halelujah!I'm floating. It's amazing being back here in the United States. Didn't expect to feel this way, but here it is and here I am. And it really has very little or...
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Signs in IndiaReturning to the US in a few days. Arriving in SFO on Friday morning the 17th. Seems like the protests here in Thailand have quelled some so flying out will hopefully... -
Getting the Mind Out of the Way of SensingI noticed something interesting today, about the mind and it's effect on the eyes, on our capacity to see and be present with what we see. As I lay outside at...
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Readying for Re-entryResting here in Thailand with my father and his wife Sandra. Very nice and tranquil here, which is just what the doctor ordered. Sleeping deeply at night, except for last night...
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For Whom Am I Writing?For whom am I writing this blog? It's time I wrote about this a little because my "readership" if you want to call it that has grown, and I guess I...
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"The Heart Knows Better Than The Mind"So I'm still in India. Somehow I decided not to return to the states. It was an incredibly difficult decision for me: my body and soul were tired and wanted to... -
Sweet Moments in PalaniAnother incredibly precious moment here in India, this time in Palani where i'm spending a couple of days. It's a major pilgrimage place. While on the bus coming here, one could...
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all things for a reason...All things happen for a reason... so i'm in chennai and my camera is so far miraculously working, so I go out to shoot a bunch to field test it. -...
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Ugly AmericanI'm not on the trip I had last posted about because on the way to the bus station the camera repair place called and said my camera was ready, back in...
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Mooji PhotoLove SessionToday was another wonderful day as it was the day I got to photograph Mooji. I went to the Satsang as I’ve done each of the 5 days I’ve been in...
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Sadhu LifeAnother magical day in Tiruvannamalai. My Sadhu friend Shiv met me in town and walked me the backwoods path to meet with several other Sadhus. They are basically renunciates of working...
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Full Moon Walk around ArunachalaI'm going to keep this one quick as it's hot and I need to rest a little. Last night I walked around Arunachala by full moon with about 100,000 other people....
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Birds, Sacred Places, and Intimate PortraitsStill loving India. Went to the Vedenthangal bird sanctuary for a day which was great. Hundreds of thousands of birds, including huge gorgeous Painted Storks, Spoonbills, Great Ibises, Egrets, Herons, etc. The...
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You Are The DivineThe other morning, I awoke early at 4:12a (according to my $4 Bistec Indian Sport Watch) and decided to walk down to the temple because I had heard that there are...
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Heart Break AheadI came to the realization after posting my last entry that my heart is going to break here in India, and probably break 100 times over. As amazingly open as I feel...
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Happy Birthday to You, May Baba Bless You...The adventure continues, and amazingly so. In Chennai I had met an elderly man named Arumagan who owns a restaurant in Chennai, and because my camera had temporarily started working... -
The Happiest of New YearsDear God, what a night!What a New Year’s Eve! What a life to be alove (again that pesky typo) alive in. I’m still in Chennai and yesterday evening, I finally got my...
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Alove in IndiaIndia! This place is F***ing CRAZY. I don’t think there is anything that anyone can tell you, if you haven’t been to a major city in India, that can prepare... -
spiritual roadblocks to s(h)ittingFor the past couple of days, I've been paying close attention to why it's hard to get to my cushion and actually meditate in the mornings. Something is happening internally which...
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A Truthful Exploration of DietI've been eating vegetarian for the past 3 weeks or so and I want to write a little about that choice, to better explore what I'm doing and why. There is no... -
Biting One's TongueWhen asked why he didn't want to take revenge on someone who had abused him he said: "When you bite your tongue do you knock your teeth out?" Bhagavan Sri Ramana Maharshi I've...
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When I Look in Your EyesToday while at the beach with some friends, we came upon a seal on the beach (pictured above) that appeared to not be doing so well. It's generally strange to see... -
Distracted from the TruthI just finished reading a book called East of the Mountains by David Guterson about an aging man dying of colon cancer. He doesn’t tell anyone about this including his family... -
Acknowledging the Truth and What That BringsSomething is up inside me, something which has been brewing for some time now, and I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I know it has something to do with...
philosophy, photography, miscellany
